Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Road Map of the Harlot

The Road Map of the Harlot
by Steven Plaut

There are legends about her origins. Some say she is the very snake from
the Garden of Eden itself. She reappears in different forms and under
different names throughout human history. Many regard her as a she-demon
from the netherworld. Everywhere, she has the same Modus Operandi: Come
and show me your true vulnerability, she cried, and I promise we will live
in peace forever, trust me. If you doubt my sincerity then YOU are the

But she is best known to us as Delilah, the harlot of Gaza. It was then
that Samson went to her and lay with her. Reveal to me your true
vulnerability, she insisted. I will not use it against you. Trust me. We
will dwell together in peace.

But he was shrewd. Piece of cake, he teased, all you have to do is bind me
up with seven vines that were never dried. And no sooner did he offer her
this goodwill gesture for peace than her Tanzim descended upon him and
bound him with the very same vines. Death to the Occupier, she screamed.
In fire and spirit we will redeem thee, oh Gaza. But he broke those
bindings like thread and launched a reprisal raid for which the entire
world condemned him as aggressor.

You colonialist imperialist, she sneered. Make fun of my Peace of the
Brave, will you? But Samson was under pressure from the entire world,
including the White Pyramid, to smooth things over with the harlot.
Reveal to me your true vulnerability, she insisted. So what if last time
I used it to entrap you? This time I am sincere.

Oh, alright, he agreed. Anything for some shut-eye. If you bind me with
brand new ropes from Sears that have never been used before, I will be as
weak as a newborn kitten.

Rapid-eye-movement sleep had barely set in when the Tanzim leaped into the
boudoir. Death to the Occupier, screamed the harlot, and her militia men
attacked the sleeping paratrooper. But he arose and implemented a
campaign of targeted assassinations against his tormentors.

What, again you mock me? Where is your sense of trust?, sighed the
harlot. And now the White Pyramid was getting impatient. It wanted the
Philistines pacified so that it could pursue its campaign against the

I was just testing you, said Samson all goo-goo eyed. Now that I know you
are my sincere sweet turtle dove, I will let you in on my true secret.
Just weave seven locks of my hair into a Valentine's card, and I will be
as Silly Putty in your hands. She did, but he just tore them off, got up
and walked out.

You cad, she wailed. You demon! The White Pyramid was really getting
irritated now with the obstinacy of the guy and Belgium was going to try
him for war crimes having to do with the foxes with burning tails ruining
the fields of the Philistines. She is sincere this time,
insisted the Secretary of State, you must put her good will to the test.
That is true, insisted the Euro eunuchs.

The Council of Kingdoms denounced the warrior as an aggressor. Professors
from the tribe of Dan insisted that the Philistines were sincerely
interested in making Peace Now. The Post-Zionist followers of Bilaam
were calling for international sanctions against him. Human rights
activists were demanding that he stop taunting the harlot.

Oh alright, sighed the warrior in appeasement, if not in utter exhaustion.
If you give me a Marine crew cut, then I will be as helpless as a chad
gadya. But you gotta cross your heart and promise this time, and no more
of your tricks! This time, you better be sincere.

We know what followed. Samson eventually did get his revenge, but at the
cost of his own Oslo-like self-destruction.

But what ever became of the harlot of Gaza? The Bible is silent about
that. Was she in that pagan temple brought down upon the heads of the
savage in his feat of targeted assassination? Apparently not, or it would
have been so noted.

The she-demon wandered the world, showing up in unexpected places. She
married King Ahab and sent out her shaheeds to murder the prophets of God.
She tried to lure Odysseus to his destruction. She was almost captured in
Salem, Massachusetts. She possessed the souls of the world leaders in the
1930s, as they submitted themselves to her charms. Show me your true
vulnerability, she cooed. And after each round, her terror Tanzim stormed
in and carried out atrocities, only to be followed by new flirtations and
new peace programs based on the same old theme: Trust me, so what if I
lied to you in the past, this time I am sincere.

She went into hiding again until 1992. It was then that she crept out from
her grotto beneath the fever swamp and once again painted her harlot face.
Stepping upon the shore in her old Gaza stomping grounds, she sighed and
taunted. Show me your true vulnerability, she said. Trust me, I only
want to know out of curiosity. I would never use it against you. This is
my sincere peace offer.

And like Delilah of old, and like Delilah's love-struck gargantuan
paramour, time after time she repeats the same strategy and he responds
with the same tributes of puppy love. Her suitor never learns from her
past behavior, never wises up, never tires of self-delusion. After each
betrayal, she returns with the same siren call.

Just expose your vulnerability to me. Just place your neck in this
friendly noose. It is for peace, you see.

So what if I lied to you every single time in the past. It was all
because YOU did not truly trust me, she responds with melodramatically
hurt feelings. You never went all the way, placing your very existence in
my hands. And until you abandon your suspicions and obstinacy, until you
show me your true love, by accepting my Road Map and placing your neck in
my noose, we have nothing to talk about and the rockets will continue to

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