Sunday, June 10, 2007

Career Advice for Norman Finkelstein

Norman Finkelstein gets Canned, at Last
by Steven Plaut

Norman Finkelstein is arguably the most openly anti-Semitic "Jew" on the
planet, and the competition for that title is tough.

He has made a career out of defaming Holocaust Survivors, painting them as
thieves and liars, mocking the Holocaust and its victims, and cheering
anti-Jewish terrorism and violence. He spent last summer cheering the
Hezbollah attacks on Israel. He has defamed Elie Wiesel for years. He
trivializes the Holocaust and denies that Six Million Jews were murdered
by Nazi Germany (although does not claim that no Jews at all were killed).
He works closely with Neo-Nazi groups and Holocaust Deniers, and is widely
proclaimed to be the "Jewish David Irving". Finkelstein claims Germany is
the victim of Jewish extortion. He has publicly praised David Irving (who
claims no Jews were killed at Auschwitz) as a great historian. He is
considered to be a Holocaust Denier by the Anti-Defamation League and the
Simon Wiesenthal Center. He has been strongly denounced by Prof. Alan
Dershowitz as an anti-Semite and fraud. In Israel, Finkelstein has been
widely praised by anti-Israel Ben Gurion University extremist lecturer
Neve Gordon.

Finkelstein had been employed in the past few years by DePaul University,
a large Catholic college in Chicago. Before that he had been fired from
every academic post he ever held. His entire "academic record" consists
of anti-Semitic "books".

This past weekend, DePaul University officially gave Finkelstein the boot,
denying him tenure, and in effect firing him. It is doubtful he will ever
be able to hold any sort of academic post again in the civilized world.

That being the case, the question arises of what Normie will now be doing
for a second career. Being helpful sorts, we have given the matter some
thought and have come up with a list of possible career moved for him,
once DePaul requires that he remove his carcass off campus in a few weeks:

1. He can be the new Dean of History at the University of Teheran.

2. He can grew side curls and join the Neturei Karta.

3. He can open a fast food stand that serves fish and chips to the
British Association of University Professors and the University and
College Union.

4. He can be Avram Burg's butler in France.

5. He can become official Baathist mascot at soccer games in Damascus.

6. He can write a Master's thesis under Ilan Pappe about how the Jews
murdered all the Arabs in Atlantis.

7. He can get a job tearing squares of toilet paper on Friday afternoons
for Chicago area synagogues, before the sabbath.

8. He can become a make-pretend cowboy and then chase make-pretend Indian
Ward Churchill.

9. He can paint circles on his rear end and then pose next to the
security fence around the Gaza Strip.

10. He can change his name to Norman X and go to work for Louis

11. He can be adopted legally as the son of Ernst Zundel, Neo-Nazi
deported from Canada to Germany.

12. He can be David Irving's cell mate.

13. He can join Gush Shalom.

14. He can serve as designated driver for when Mel Gibson gets drunk.

15. He can be the chief pimp for the "Women in Black".

16. He can test explosives belts for the Hamas.

17. He can write some more anti-Semitic garbage with Alexander Cockburn.

18. He can work as a shabbas goy at the Ramat Hovav garbage dump.

19. He can serve as pothole filler.

20. He can get tenured at Ben Gurion University.

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