Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Ballad of Barnacle Bill and the Azad Restaurant



1.  Now if he had just been smearing Jews on a college campus, instead of blacks in a Walmart, it clearly would have been protected speech:


Teen charged in NJ Walmart racial comment case

By BRUCE SHIPKOWSKI, Associated Press Writer Bruce Shipkowski, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – A 16-year-old boy patronizing a Walmart store in southern New Jersey. ook over the public-address system and ordered black people to leave, angering customers and prompting company leaders to apologize, police said Saturday.

Police said the boy, whose name is not being released because he is a juvenile, went on the intercom at Walmart's Washington Township store Sunday evening and calmly announced: "Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."

The teen was arrested Friday on charges of harassment and bias intimidation. Authorities said he was released to the custody of his parents; they did not know whether he had a lawyer.



2.  A chat list for faculty members at the University of Haifa has been debating the matter of that Arab restaurant in Haifa (the "AZAD"), which refuses to allow Israeli soldiers to enter. One faculty member, Yuval Yonay, a sociologist and self-defined expert in "Queer Studies" (which is his term for it), has been defending the restaurant owner.  Yonay says it is a great ethical policy not to let soldiers into the restaurant.  Moreover, he insists the policy is not "discriminatory." 



Here is my Translation from the Hebrew of what he posted:


"How can anyone say that the restaurant is being discriminatory?   After

all, as far as I know, it prohibits entry into the restaurant for Israeli

soldiers from ALL ethnic and religious groups, and also prohibits entry to

sailors from the Sixth Fleet and soldiers from the Palestinian Authority.

On the other hand, it allows entry to soldiers, merchants, policemen, etc.

who are out of uniform.  So where is the discrimination?"




I have a confession.  I really posted the following response to him on the same chat list for all the professors.  I am not pulling your leg.  Enjoy:



   I must say that the most amusing and delightful part of reading the epistles of Yuval Yonay against those expressing indignation at the Azad restaurant, the one that refused to let in any IDF soldiers, had to do with Yonay pontificating about how the Azad might have acted if it were called upon to host visiting American sailors in their dress blues.  I would have loved seeing the Yanks react to the Azad owners trying to give them the bum's rush!  Anyway, something about Yonay and sailors on leave got me to thinking, and I must confess to experiencing some mental associations with one of the great treasures of Western civilization, a song that all educated people should know.


   Now those of you have not been sufficiently immersed into some of the more important aspects of Western culture, particularly those to be found in certain dark corners of North America , may not be familiar with the classical song "Barnacle Bill the Sailor."  It is said to originate in San Francisco back in the days of the Gold Rush, when a sailor named Bill came to visit some of the less reputable establishments of the city.  The song became a true classic thanks to Hoagy Carmichael and Bix Beiderbecke.  Those unfamiliar with it should by all means dial up one of the many wonderful versions of the song on Youtube


The lyrics themselves vary.  You can find some of the cleaner versions on the web, while anyone who ever went to high school in America knows several other versions.


So as a public service we give you:  The Ballad of Barnacle Bill and the Azad


(Tap-tap-tap)"Who's that knocking at my door?"
(Tap-tap-tap)"Who's that knocking at my door?"
(Tap-tap-tap)"Who's that knocking at my door?"
Cried the Azad Owner.


"It's only he from over the sea," says Yonay the Sociologist.
"In his Summer Whites no diner be," says Yonay the Sociologist.
"I'll sail the sea until I croak, I fight 'n swear 'n drink 'n smoke,
But I can't get in cause of that thar bloke," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


"Are you young and handsome, sir?"
"Are you young and handsome, sir?"
"Are you young and handsome, sir?"
Cried the Azad Owner.


"I'm old 'n rough 'n dirty 'n tough," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I drink my gin 'n dip my snuff," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Don't let him in, he's dressed to kill,

In uniform no grog he'll swill," says Yonay the Sociologist.


"I'll come down and let you in!"
"I'll come down and let you in!"
"I'll come down and let you in!"
Cried the Azad Owner.


"Well hurry before I break the door," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Avast ye lubbers, on jihad tour," says Yonay the Sociologist.
"I'll spin you yarns 'n tell you lies, I'll drink yer wine 'n eat yer pies,
I'll kiss yer cheek 'n black yer eyes," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


"Sing me a love song low and sweet!"
"Sing me a love song low and sweet!"
"Sing me a love song low and sweet!"
Cried the Azad owner.

"Sixteen men on a dead man's chest," sang Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Yo-heave-ho and a bottle of rum," sang Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Come sailors here, come high-rig-a-jig,

Come leap upon intifada rig," sang Yonay the Sociologist.


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