Zionist Conspiracy

 

 

The Grand Marching Song of the Anti-Zionist Left

By Steven Plaut

We are progressive, caring, socially advanced, egalitarian and freedom-loving Anti-Zionists. Here we present to you our Grand Marching Song. Set to John Philip Sousa. All together:

 

We believe in enlightened government and progress.

And that is why we support Arab fascism.

We believe in peace.

And that is why we support all military aggression against Israel.

We believe in democracy.

And that is why we believe that Israel is the only country in the Middle East that must be destroyed.

We believe in freedom.

And that is why we support Syria and Iran, and of course the Hamas.

We believe in the freedom of speech and of the press.

And that is why we support the Palestinian Authority.

We believe in self-determination and self-definition for all.

But not for Jews.

We oppose violence.

And that is why we support Palestinian terror.

We believe in human dignity.

And that is why we applaud when Arabs blow up Jewish women and children.

We believe in human rights.

And for this reason we support Arab atrocities.

We believe in fraternity and the brotherhood of nations.

Which is why Israel must be de-Zionized and converted into a clone of Rwanda.

We believe in voting.

Which is why we applaud Libya, Sudan, Iran, and Syria and demand that Israel be destroyed.

We believe in freedom of movement.

Except for Jews.

We favor equality.

As in Syria, Iran and Libya.

We favor minority rights.

But not for Jews, Kurds, Southern Sudanese, Copts or any other politically incorrect groups.

We believe in freedom.

But do not mind that slavery still exists in Sudan, Saudi Arabia and elsewhere among Arabs.

We believe in a free press.

And so we support censorship by the PLO and Hamas.

We believe in freedom to practice religion.

But only for Moslems.

We believe in affirmative action preferences for those who suffered from past discrimination.

 But not for Jews.

We believe in progress and enlightenment.

And so we support Jihad and pogroms.

We believe in egalitarianism.

And so we support demands for ethnic cleansing of the Middle East to drive out the Jews.

We love children and living things.

And this is why we applaud suicide bombers.

We hate it when people blame the victims.

Which is why all terrorism is the Jews' fault.

We believe in education.

As long as we never have to read any books.

We believe in multiculturalism.

As long as no one ever has to learn respect for the Jews or for the West or for Amerika.

We believe in progress.

And so we celebrate barbarism and savagery.

We believe in progress.

As long as Arab countries never are asked to progress beyond the 12th century.

We believe in democracy.

But not for Arabs.

We believe in prosperity.

And that is why we support Arab feudalism and kleptocracy.

We believe in equal citizenship.

Just as long as Israel never conscripts its Arabs.

We believe in freedom of expression.

Which is why people who do not agree with us must be censored.

We believe the human rights of Arabs must be protected.

But not in Arab countries.

We are upset by illiteracy.

And that is why we practice it.

We believe in women's equality,

But not among Arabs.

We oppose torture,

Except when it is by the Palestinian Authority or similar progressive Arab force.

 

 

WHO US? ANTI-SEMITES? US?

by Steven Plaut

We have nothing against Jews as such. We just hate Zionism and Zionists. We think Israel does not have a right to exist. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such. Heavens to Mergatroyd. Marx Forbid. We are humanists. Progressives. Peace lovers.

Anti-Semitism is the hatred of Jews. Anti-Zionism is opposition to Zionism and Israeli policies. The two have nothing to do with one another. Venus and Mars. Night and day.

Trust us.

Sure, we think the only country on the earth that must be annihilated is Israel. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

Sure, we think that the only children on earth whose being blown up is okay if it serves a good cause are Jewish children. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

Sure, we think that if Palestinians have legitimate grievances this entitles them to mass murder Jews. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such. Naturally, we think that the only people on earth who should never be allowed to exercise the right of self-defense are the Jews. Jews should only resolve the aggression against them through capitulation, never through self-defense. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We only denounce racist apartheid in the one country in the Middle East that is not a racist apartheid country. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We refuse to acknowledge the Jews as a people, and think they are only a religion. We do not have an answer to how people who do not practice the Jewish religion can still be regarded as Jews. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We think that all peoples have the right to self-determination, except Jews, and including even the make-pretend "Palestinian people". But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We hate it when people blame the victims, except of course when people blame the Jews for the jihads and terrorist campaigns against them. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We think the only country in the Middle East that is a fascist anti-democratic one is the one that has free elections. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We demand that the only country in the Middle East with free speech, free press or free courts be destroyed. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We oppose military aggression, except when it is directed at Israel. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We really understand suicide bombers who murder bus loads of Jewish children and we insist that their demands be met in full. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We do not think that Jews have any human rights that need to be respected, and especially not the right to ride a bus without being murdered. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

There are Jewish, leftist anti-Zionists and we consider this proof that anti-Zionists could not possibly be anti-Semitic; not even the ones who cheer when Jews are mass murdered. These are the only Jews we think need be acknowledged or respected. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.. We think the only conflict on earth that must be solved through dismembering one of the parties to that conflict is the one involving Israel. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We do not think murder proves how righteous and just the cause of the murderer is, except when it comes to murderers of Jews. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We do not think the Jews are entitled to their own state and must submit to being a minority in a Rwanda-style bi-national state, although no other state on earth, including the 22 Arab countries, should be similarly expected to be deprived of its sovereignty. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We think that Israel having a Jewish majority and a star on its flag makes it a racist apartheid state. We do not think any other country having an ethnic-religious majority or having crosses or crescents or Allah Akbar on its flag is racist or needs dismemberment. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We condemn the mistreatment of women in the only country of the Middle East in which they are not mistreated. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We condemn the mistreatment of minorities in the only country in the Middle East in which minorities are not brutally suppressed and mass murdered. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We demand equal citizen rights, which is why the only country in the Middle East in need of extermination is the only one in which such rights exist. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

We have no trouble with the fact that there is no freedom of religion in any Arab countries. But we are mad as hell at Israel for violating religious freedom, and never mind that we are never quite sure where or when it does so. But that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.

So how can you possibly say we are anti-Semites? We are simply anti-Zionists. We seek peace and justice, that's all. And surely that does not mean we have anything against Jews as such.