Monday, December 27, 2010
Then you just might be one
Deep South, Jeff Foxworthy. He is best known for his comedy shticks
based on the refrain, "Then you just might be a redneck." For
example, if you have 24 pickup trucks and none of them work, then you
just might be a redneck. That sort of thing.
Well, it occurs to me that Jeff Foxworthy could really clean up if he
altered his shtick slight to comment on those "who just might be
Israeli leftist fascists and racists."
Here are some samples:
1. If you think it is racist when some rabbis call for people not to
rent property to Arabs, but it is a progressive gesture for peace and
tolerance to demand that property not be rented or sold to Jews in
Sheikh Jarrah and Silwan, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist and racist.
2. If you think Israel is an apartheid regime, then you just might
be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
3. If you think Israel should be the only country on earth to allow
unlimited entrance for African infiltrators, while to refuse to do so
would be racist, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist
and racist.
4. If you think that rabbis calling for people not to rent property
to Arabs is racist, but Sheikh Salah's rant at the University of Haifa
calling for Arab students to become suicide bombers was not, then you
just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
5. If you think it is the main purpose of universities to
indoctrinate students in leftwing ideology, then you just might be an
Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
6. If you think that international pressure on Israel to make peace
by accepting terms rejected by the majority of Israelis is necessary
and valuable, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and
racist.
7. If you think Israeli Arabs should be exempt from obeying Israeli
laws, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
8. If you think that students displaying posters and tee shirts with
images of Abdul Nasser, Che Guevara, and bin Laden is legitimate
protest but Im Tirtzu students wearing tee shirts with images of Herzl
is fascism, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and
racist.
9. If you think that faculty members should have the right to cheer
on terrorism against Jews, to call for Israel's obliteration, to
support lawbreaking, to call for international boycotts against
Israel, and to call for Israelis to refuse to serve in the military,
while at the same time you consider anyone who CRITICIZES those same
faculty members for doing those things to be "McCarthyists," then you
just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
10. If you think that Haaretz is the epitome of even-handed
responsible neutral and balanced journalism, then you just might be an
Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
11. If you deny that Noam Chomsky's endorsements of Holocaust Denials
are anti-Semitism, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist
and racist.
12. If you think it is fascist to criticize the New Israel Fund and
its officers, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and
racist.
13. If you think Israel owes Turkey an "apology" for its takeover of
the Gaza flotilla ships, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist and racist.
14. If you think everyone who disagrees with Uri Avnery and the
radical Left is a "fascist," then you just might be an Israeli
leftwing fascist and racist.
15. If you think shooting terrorists constitutes "war crimes," then
you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
16. If you favor academic departments in which only enlightened
leftist opinion may be expressed and where there is no room for
non-leftist dissenting opinion to be heard, then you just might be an
Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
17. If you believe that the only legitimate way for Israel to defend
its citizens against terrorism is to capitulate to the demands of the
terrorists, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and
racist.
18. If you find it perfectly reasonable when the heads of the
Palestinian Authority insist that no Jews be allowed to live in any
future Palestinian state but consider it racism when Lieberman
proposes transferring control of Umm al-Fahm to the PA, then you just
might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
19. If you insist that there are no lessons to be learned from the
8000 rockets fired at Israel after Israel abandoned the Gaza Strip,
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
20. If you regard all Israeli Arabs as "Israeli Palestinians" but
consider it racist whenever anyone suggests that Israeli Palestinians
should move to the territory of the Palestinian Authority, then you
just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
21. If you think African infiltrators should be allowed into Israel
with no limit just as long as none of them live in your own building,
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
22. If you see nothing objectionable when people in Ramat Aviv demand
that Chabadniks and other Orthodox be kept out, but are horrified when
residents of Shchunat Hatikva object to the presence of illegal
Africans, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and
racist.
23. If you consider it racist when someone suggests that Jews should
have as much right to live in predominantly Arab areas, including in
East Jerusalem, as Arabs have to live in Jaffa and Haifa, then you
just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
24. If you see nothing racist in the firing of missiles into Sderot
or in the setting of scores of forest fires intentionally, then you
just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
25. If you consider it racist to discuss the intentional arson that
set dozens of forest fires, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist and racist.
26. If you claim that Israel conducts ethnic cleansing or genocide,
then it is certain that are an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist
27. If you think the Upper Nazareth city hall should have a Christmas
tree, but that Jews should be prevented from praying on the Temple
Mount, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist and racist.
