Sunday, April 28, 2013


   In the 1990s there was a debate in Israel over the "right" to import pork into Israel.  At the time, a group of Lefties petitioned the courts to proclaim "pork importer" to be a profession that is protectd under Israel's semi-constitutional "basic laws," which grant the freedom of professional choices to people, the freedom to choose your own profession.  It was argued that prohibitions on pork importing were unconstitutional.  The court eventually AGREED!  This is noteworthy because there is no constitutional right to import KOSHER food into Israel and you cannot import, say, a kosher Empire chicken from the US or kosher salamis from anywhere.
   Anyhow, at the time, the Meretz Party decided to show its support for the petitioners and announced that it would host an assembly of pork importers in the Meretz party headquarters.  Meretz at the time was headed by Shulamit Aloni, the Madame Defarge of the Israeli radical Left.  Her sidekick was Yossi "Call Me Ishmael" Sarid.
   That development got my notorious poetic juices a-flowing back then and I composed this poem to mark that cosmic event:
To Meretz To Meretz, To Buy a A Fat Pig,
Home Again Home Again, Jiggety Jig.

To Meretz To Meretz, To Buy a Fat Hog,
Home Again Home Again, Jiggety Jog.

To Meretz To Meretz, To Buy a Young Shoat,
Home Again Home Again, Ready to Vote.

To Meretz To Meretz, to buy a fat sow,
Stir fry it with scallions, I'd like a Peace Now.

To Meretz To Meretz, to buy a crisp chimp,
Sautee it with butter and serve it with shrimp.

To Meretz To Meretz, to buy an old horse,
We'll send her to the Knesset like Caligula of course.

   I mention all of this because of the tragic events in Haifa this past week.
   You may not have heard but there was a fire this week in the Haifa zoo.  As it turned out, most of the monkeys in the zoo were tragically burned to death.  You can see the news story here:
     According to the story:  "The Haifa Educational Zoo keeps several primates, including baboons, green vervets, capuchins and lemurs, according to its website. The cause of the blaze was not immediately clear. Fire officials said they would launch an investigation."
    Almost everyone in Haifa considered this a rather sad development.
    However the local chapter of Meretz considered it lunch!
               Bar - be - cue!

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