Zionist Conspiracy

The Jewish List Of The World's Shortest Books

 

I suppose everyone has seen lists of the "World's Shortest Books."

 

Since I think we Jews could use our own special list, I have as a public service prepared the first annual Official Jewish List of the World's Shortest Books.

 

1. "The Laws of the Torah We Follow and Practice," by the leaders of the Reconstructionist movement.

2. "Reform Rabbis I Have Admired," by Rabbi Ovadia Yosef.

3. "Illegal Narcotics Progressive Jews Should Avoid," by the editors of Tikkun magazine.

4. "Koshers Foods I Enjoy," by Yossi Sarid.

5. "My Beauty Secrets," by Shulamit Aloni

6. "Books I Have Read," by Rev Al Sharpton.

7.  "The list of Palestinian contributions to Mankind," by Shimon Peres.

8.  "How Likud Differs from the Labor Party," by Benjamin Netanyahu.

9.  "Ideas for Conflict Resolution Through Meditation and Quilting," by Sheikh Raed Salah.

10. "Arab Terrorists I Have Condemned," by the B'Tselem Human Rights Group.

11.  "Our record of Defending Freedom of Speech for Non-Leftists," Association for Civil Rights in Israel.

12. "My Understanding of Free Speech and Democracy," by Israeli Attorney General Shai Nitzan.

13. "Romantic Moments From My Marriage," by Senator Hillary Clinton.

14.  "Non-Leftists Who Work for Us," by the Israel Broadcasting Authority.

15.  "Things I Did to Deserve a Nobel Prize," by Shimon Peres.

16.  "Things I Did to Deserve a Nobel Prize," by Jimmy Carter.

17.  "Things I Did to Stop Iran from getting Nukes," by Barack Hussein Obaa

18. "Thoughts I Have Had," by the Reverend Al Sharpton.

19. "The Essence of Patriotism," by Zehava Galon.

20. "Israeli Vital Interests That Need to be Guarded," by John Kerry.

21. "My Cozy Home Life With the Chairman," by Suha Arafat

22. "Liberal Causes I Have Opposed," by Leonard Fein

23. "Jews I Admire," by Patrick Buchanan

24. "Pro-Israel Columns We've Run Over the Years," by the editors of the Los Angeles Times.

25. "Pro-Israel Columns We've Run Over the Years," by the editors of Haaretz.

26. "Lessons in Palestinian Democracy," by Abu Mazen.

27. "Documented Facts in My Autobiography," by Edward Said.

28. "My Struggle against anti-Semites," by Eric Yoffie

29. "Communist Atrocities I Have Condemned," by Noam Chomsky.

30. "Things I Like About the United States," by Noam Chomsky.

31. "Tips From My Dental Hygienist," by Yasir Arafat.

32. "Things I Remember About My Lobotomy," by Shimon Peres.

33. "Israeli Universities Not Dominated by Leftists," by Steven Plaut.

34. "My Plans for Commemorating Israel's Next Jubilee Year," by Bashar Asad.

35. "My Memories of Rabbinic Seminary," by Tikkun editor Michael Lerner.

36. "Favorite Stir-Fried Recipes for Preparing Tasty Animals," by Arthur Waskow and the Eco-Judaism movement.

37.  "Illegal Drugs whose use I have Condemned," by Michael Lerner, editor of Tikkun.
38.  "Silly Conspiracy Theories I have Condemned," by Barry Chamish

39.  "Terrorists we have Condemned," by leadership of Peace Now.

40.  "Sexual Perversions we have Condemned," by the Reform synagogue Religious Action Center.

41.  "Our Ritual Lessons from the Torah," by the Reconstructionist Rabbinic College.

42.  "Non-Leftists  to whom we have granted Honorary PhD degrees," by president of the University of Haifa.

43.  "Our Action Plans against Academic Traitors," by Rivka Carmi, president of Ben Gurion "University."

44.  "Non-leftist Columns we have Published," by Haaretz publisher and Yediot Ahronot.