Sunday, January 26, 2014

Toilet Economics

Arik Sharon died recently and I suppose manners prevents the indictment of him at this point for all the political errors and misdeeds he did when he morphed into Israel's appeaser of the barbarians.  We can settle that score some other time.  Instead, I thought I would re-post a 30 year old item of my own poking fun at Sharon back when Sharon was serving as Minister of Commerce in the Israeli government of 1984 (interesting year that!)
To raise the national spirits, I am here posting sections from my very 
first newspaper article about Ariel Sharon, printed in the Jerusalem Post 
on Oct 16 1984. Sharon at the time was the Minister of Industry and Trade 
in the Shamir Incompetocracy: 

Toilet Economics 
By Steven Plaut 
Readers with a highly developed sense of delicacy are warned not to read 
this commentary. We will be dealing with a HIGHLY indelicate subject. We 
will be discussing a central concern of the latest version of the 
government's economic policy. 

It seems the major issue for that policy is the matter of those large 
round ceramic household fixtures through which water passes intermittently 
and which back in kindergarten days we used to call Happy Johnnies. There, 
I have said it. Yes, the government of Israel has decided to fight the 
continuing deterioration of our economy by crusading against imported 
Happy Johnnies. 

In recent days Ariel Sharon on behalf of the government announced that he 
was totally banning all imports of Happy Johnnies and 54 other items for a 
period of six months. These items were enumerated in what was called a 
"list of luxury goods". Now THINK about that for a moment. Happy Johnnies 
are LUXURY goods? 

The fact that Ariel Sharon so regards them says volumes about his own 
lifestyle and perhaps his early toilet training. It is one thing to fight 
foreign reserve losses by prohibiting shaving cream imports, ALSO on the 
list of prohibited items. After all, what is wrong with Jews growing 
beards? But Happy Johnnies? That is really hitting the public below the 

In fairness, one should point out that it was only imports of CERAMIC 
Johnnies that were prohibited. No one said anything about, say, wooden 
ones. But I, for one, am opposed to those. After all, how would it be if 
Israel became known as the Birch John Society? Ariel Sharon gets a grade 
for his polices of 00!! 

History has tended to attach labels to the economic programs of various 
administrations. Roosevelt had his "New Deal". Johnson had the "Great 
Society". Aridor had "Correct Economics". Well, Ariel Sharon will go down 
in the history books as the father of Toilet Economics. 

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?